Our McDonald's Saga

Since we arrived in Korea I have struggled with the food; Jason on the other hand gets excited to see whole baby squid for lunch. The upside to me being a picky eater is the loss of twenty or so pounds which has made me feel great. I have managed this by eating some protein and lots of fruits and vegetables. I have almost completely taken carbs out of my diet. On those days that I just need something else we get a pizza or go to the local Lotteria and eat. Well, I have had just slightly too much pizza recently, probably due to it being a perfect companion to the football game on the tv, but alas I digress. So, we have attempted, multiple times to go to McDonald's.

The first time we went to McDonald's it was at 5pm on a Sunday. We got into the taxi with our destination written on a piece of paper in both English and Korean. I happily greeted the cab driver and said to him "Chilsung" to which he just stared at me. I thought, hmmm..... perhaps he didn't hear me? So I said it louder, to which he looked more confused. I gave my best konglish (Korean/English combination) mixture of "McDonaldsa" to which he just looked annoyed. So instead of saying "I don't know where you're going" he pulled away from the curb, whipped out his phone and began rapid firing in Korean. After a five minute conversation between him and someone with directions to McDonald's he threw the piece of paper back at me and told me that the one I wanted was in "Manchondong" and not in "Chilsung". I of course nodded solemnly to show him that he was absolutely correct and I was just a stupid American. We then proceeded to sit in traffic for about 10 minutes (apparently we should have realized that when a cab says they had a hard time getting to you due to traffic, we should have just said anneyo to McDonald's). We then arrived at McDoanld's and enjoyed the wonderful deliciousness of it's offerings.

You probably think the story ends there right? Think again. We felt like McDonald's again this weekend. Apparently we had forgotten that 5 o'clock was a bad time to go out in a taxi. The taxi driver arrived and I told him "Seoseongeo Homeplusa" which was where the McDonald's, I thought, was located. He whipped us off and we settled in for the drive which I "knew" to be about ten minutes. I should also state that I only had 22,000 won in my wallet and Jason had zero. We once again hit traffic and I thought "Gee the cab will cost a little more because of this". Was that the understatement of the year. After us traveling for a half hour, Jason asks, as we're on the highway, "Where are we going?" All I could do was shrug, since I obviously had no idea. I was also having a slight panic attack since I was watching the taxi meter go up and up and up. I began looking at my watch thinking "Well if I don't have enough money for the cab I could give them my watch. Then I was like, well I really like my watch, maybe Jason's instead?" We drove past the Daegu gun range and stadium and past many other things I had never seen. Finally we arrived at our destination and I gave over my 22,000 won (I didn't need to part with my watch). The cab driver says happily, "Homeplusa" and I'm like "yep, here is my money just let me leave".

I stomped my away across the street muttering, "I just had to have some McDonald's". Jason being ever helpful says, "You just had to have McDonald's didn't you?" I glare, huff and continue towards the store. Just as I begin to contemplate pushing someone into the way of a cab I see the little golden arches in the window and I feel relief, God does love me!!!! We go in, and first hit the atm so we have money to get home from wherever the hell we are. We pass some Indian men who stare at me because that's what all Indian men do to me for some reason. Then we get to McDonald's after walking the store for ten minutes.

I say to the lady two double cheeseburgers please and she puts in two sets (a set consists of fries, a drink, and a sandwich) then she says "for here?" and I'm like no, two sandwiches for me. She raises her eyebrows in surprise, and I sigh and say, one double cheeseburger set (damn koreans and their weight conciousness). We get our food and I say more ketchup please (we have two packets and she, ever gracious, gives me one more). We grab our food and three ketchup packages and go and sit down. As we do, three Indian guys set nearby and begin to do the creeper stare on me. We eat, bitch about the cab ride and overall just enjoy our time together. Before I know it, the coke and fry combination has gotten to me and a belch exits my mouth. I hastily cover my mouth and mutter "excuse me" but not before I see that all three Indian guys are staring and shock and laughing. All I can do is smile and wave thinking, "Yep, that's me, welcome to the show".

Once we finished eating we attempted to leave the HomePlus and we got lost, but not before passing yet another group of Indian guys who of course, stared at me. We finally made it to a taxi and I said, "This better not be the same guy". We get in and I say "Bongmu-dong" and the taxi driver says, "What?". So I say again, "Bongmu-dong" with an emphasis on the mu and a grunt in my voice and as expected he says "Ah, Bongmu-dong". Then he looks confused as he tried to (what I assume) think of where it is. I tried every local area I could think of: Palgongsong, Yeongcheon, Airport, Esiapolis, Leports and nothing worked. He had no clue where we going. This took about ten minutes for us to mutually realize; but it took me the same amount of time to realize he was charging me for this!!! So, then I knew we were not leaving that cab since I now already owed him five bucks. Eventually he gets our school security guard on the phone who tells him where to go and we make it home 40 minutes later and another 20,000 won.

The next day, we were talking to a local coffee shop owner; we were telling him this story. He responds with, "Why did you just go to Manchondong? It's only two kilometers down the road." At that point I wanted to smash my head into a table in defeat. All of this for some fries and a cheeseburger:)